Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Heavy Heart

I thought I should explain my little bit of distance lately. I found out a few weeks ago that I was pregnant. I went to a checkup at my doctors and they were happy to tell me that the visit had changed and that I was pregnant. I was so so happy and already picking out baby names. I totally thought this pregnancy was how it was like with Evelette and not with the other two miscarriages. I had an ultrasound last Friday and they said they saw no Embryo but maybe that meant it was too early to see it. So I had multiple tests and another ultrasound over the weekend and yesterday. The doctor called me yesterday and said that it is a "non viable" pregnancy. So tomorrow I have an appointment to discuss options of either having it removed or wait to have it pass naturally. My heart is very heavy and I am confused and sad. But thank the Lord I have God to look too because I know he uses everything for good. It has been frustrating because I am still nauseous and icky feeling. In sharing all this I hope to encourage others who are struggling with "baby making" or those who are just struggling. I love you all so so much and hope you all are having a better week than me. I will post some happier posts here soon, the distraction will be nice. Thanks for all your support!

Luvs,
Leah

57 comments:

christine said...

I am so sorry to hear your sad news, Leah. I can only imagine how hard this is for you.

Sending lots of positive thoughts and virtual hugs your way :)

Prencie said...

Awww sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear:( GOd does know what's best for us even though we may not understand at the time. I've been thru many many hardships that I didn't know why God could possibly allow this to happen to one of His children. He has a way of twisting the situation that the devil meant for bad and HE turns into good. I can speak from experience. So know that this may be a bad moment in your life right now but there will many many good ones soon to come:) Have faith.
XOXO

Jade @ Flip Flops + Pearls Design said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I am keeping you and in your family in my thoughts.

xoxo Jade

Mere said...

I am so so sorry---you are in my thoughts and prayers. xo

Cole said...

leah I'm so sorry your going through this. Sending prayers your way. A blog I follow posted this today and from someone who went through this same thing I found some comfort in it. http://www.martawrites.com/2010/07/how-to-cope-with-loss-of-baby.html

Praying for you.

Jill@Barnes Yard said...

Oh, thinking of you today. So sorry.

Shannon @ What's Up Whimsy said...

I am so sorry to hear that Leah. I will be thinking about you in this difficult time. xo

Will @ Bright.Bazaar said...

You are in my thoughts, Leah. I can't begin to even imagine how hard it must be, but be sure to take time for you to recouperate. Big hugs from the UK. Will

Brandi said...

Leah, I'm so sad to hear this, I can't imagine what you're struggling with right now. My thoughts are with you and yours!

Café Bellini said...

Oh no! You poor thing, I am so, so sorry. It must be so hard. Life is so unfair sometimes.

Anaiz said...

I am so sorry to hear that. It is very courageous of you to share this, my thoughts are with you and your family.

Mrs. Chic said...

I'm so sorry you have to go thought this it takes so much courage to share something so personal with everyone, your in my prayers - bug hug

Dagny @ Scandinavian Chic said...

Oh, I'm so sorry, Leah. I'm definitely thinking of you.

xx
d

Kiri said...

Leah, I am so sorry! You are in my prayers!

Kiri

alison (semi-fab lane) said...

sorry to hear your news. my thoughts will be with you.

Carly said...

Leah,

I am so sorry to hear this news. Isn't it great that even though we will never understand the ways of God, we always know that He's there?

My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time!

Carly x

jemina said...

Oh darling, please trust that the Lord only has his BEST interests for you, Love, Hugs and Kisses babe, J, xoxo

Elizabeth Benfield said...

isnt it crazy to think how people go thru hardships without faith. i mean, its hard enough with faith. i know we do not know each other, but you are in my prayers.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Danielle Renee said...

Leah,

Dear sister, my heart and tears go out to you! I wish I had answer's, I do have some, but not as many as I would like sometimes. After I lost my first I had this very real realization that I had treasure in heaven. My heart connected more with heaven after that.

The Lord brings joy in the midst of sorrow and beauty in the midst of ashes.

Starfish & Sundresses said...

Leah,

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is to handle. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! I'm sure beautiful Evelette will keep you smiling! xx

Krystal said...

my heart is going out to you so hard, leah! keep your head up and hug your family hard. my thoughts will be with you.

Mande said...

Leah, My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry and wish I could hug you right now. Saying prayers for you and your hubby. xoxo

Mande said...
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Cassie said...

I'm so sorry Leah. My heart is breaking for you. I've been struggling with getting pregnant for the last year and we too are very confused and frustrated with what we could be doing wrong. I'll keep you in my prayers, because even in my struggles there is someone else who may need my prayers even more.

avant garde said...

oh girlfriend, you hang in there, for evelette anyway. from these comments you can see that so many friends are hoping you pull through and have a chance to try again. you are young and not that it makes this currenty time any less painful, but keep your head in the future. thinking of you!

Kiki said...

Leah, wow! I'm sure it took a whole lot to let everyone in and that just shows how strong and brave you are. I'm so sorry to hear this and hopefully, the pain will pass soon.

Big XOXO's
Kiki

Ari- Audrey Onassis said...

Leah, I am so sorry. You and Richard are in my heart, dear.

Cara said...

so sorry to hear that sweetie..you are in my thoughts and prayers..

Heather said...

Oh my goodness...I am so sorry to hear about this. I know that having experienced it before is not making it any easier for you this time. I pray that God will give you the strength to make it through and that you will feel his arms around you through this process. I'm so happy you know he's the one to turn to in times like this!

Heather

Sharstin said...

Leah--so sorry to hear this girly. I know that it is really tough. You will be in my thoughts and prayers~

Olivia said...

Leah, I am so sorry to hear that!! I will be praying for you!!

Ludmila {creamylife.com} said...

Leah, I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope you're ok. xoxo

Miss K said...

I'm so so sorry to hear the news Leah. I wish you and your family the best & will include you in my prayers. The Lord works in mysterious ways indeed, but know that He is there and will bless you in more ways than the ability to count them.

jociegal said...

So sorry for you and your family. Sending thoughts and prayers your way.

Rachel May said...

The words won't come, sweet baby sister, just the tears. I love you so much it hurts! Abba, Father, come quickly! Hold onto Jesus! How I love you!

Mirela said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I am keeping you and in your family in my thoughts....my heart goes out to you sweetie xxx

Lulu said...

Oh Sweetie, I just saw this post. I'm so sorry for the news. You are in my prayers.

Anna Walker said...

Oh honey, I am so sorry that you have to go through this! Maybe have some close special time with Evelette and you are in my prayers, I am so sorry.

Angie said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine the sorrow you must feel. I'll say a prayer for you and your family.

emily said...

Oh honey, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lauren said...

Leah, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take all the time in the world for you and your family. We will all be here when you return.

Danielle said...

I am so so sorry for this terrible loss. Hang in there. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

captain kk said...

i'm so sorry to hear about your sad news & heavy heart. sending you love from oz. x captn.

Amanda said...

So sorry to hear of your loss - sending big comforting hugs your way and keeping you in my prayers xx

*b* said...

Love from London to you and your family.

Chantale said...

Oh Leah.. I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine the disappointment, the heartache you're feeling and going through. If I could go over there and take care of you I would! You're a strong person with a huge heart. Sending you lots of ♡..
xoxo

Flavia @ Estilo Home said...

Leah, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. My thoughts are with you and your family. Hugs, Flavia

Olivia @ Swan White Curtain said...

I can't even imagine how painful that must be for you. Lifting you up in my prayers that you will soon find comfort.

Anna Liesemeyer said...

Leah,
This makes me so sad to read, but you have an incredible outlook and great faith that I am sure God will bless. He makes all things new and brings beauty out of our greatest sufferings.

My sister is struggling to have another baby so this is an intention close to my heart. Count on my prayers!
Anna

The Gardner Family said...

Leah,
I found your blog off of Klyn's and been following your sisters too, but have never commented! I was so sad to hear your news, I was praying for you and some other gals in the church that have been dealing with miscarriages last night as I was awake and you were on my heart! That is something that would go on the church comment card that Pastor Jess is having us fill out about questions we would ask Jesus.. such a hard one! I am glad you have a wonderful family and Jesus to hang on to through this hard time! Praying for miracles!!
Sarah Gardner

Jesse said...

I am so sorry friend! I know it will happen for you in God's perfect time. Hugs to you!

traci zeller designs said...

(((hugs))) I've been there, and it's awful. Sending prayers your way!

traci zeller designs said...
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Molly said...

Thank you so much for your courage and transparency. I'm so sorry for the heartache you must be experiencing. But, I have several friends going through fertility issues, so I know that you writing about your experience is helpful to all the other women out there hurting too!

A Flair for Vintage Decor said...

My thoughts are with you! I was saddened to hear this, but just remember as you said...that God uses everything for good- even though it is hard to see in the present!

Meander said...

Oh Leah darling, I totally understand what you're going through and I can't thank you enough for sharing. It really is true that our hardships can sometimes bless others, even if its just with a small bit of comfort, knowing that we're not alone. I read an article after my miscarriage that truly helped me to move on - it gave the great advice to just keep singing "Jesus Loves Me", specifically because of the line "they are weak but he is strong". . .I hope it helps you to remember that there's a plan in everything and a very strong God up there who holds our lost little ones in his arms while continually orchestrating his perfect will for us, even in hardship. Love you dear, take care!

Aja said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. You are in my prayers right now! God definitely has a plan for you and your family- I'm so glad that you are putting your trust in Him.